My culinary attempt was a fatal one. The date stamped on the can, the “best by” date – I thought it was negotiable. And, depending on how willing you are to try new things, how willing you are to eliminate good tastes from your diet, it can be.
I ventured into my pantry to whip up something cheap. It’s an advantage that I often look for – getting something for myself that doesn’t cost a lot – and the food I already had would be suitable and would probably be just fine. After all, food companies are only concerned with getting sued, so they err on the side of caution, don’t they?
My boiling water changed the texture of a normal-looking box of pasta from stiff to al dente in about 10 minutes. The sauce, on the other hand, was a completely different matter.
When the two met – the pasta and its sauce – on a fork, in my mouth – I felt like a failure. I could never remember ever making anything that tasted so horrible. Food so bad that I wouldn’t give it to my (deceased) dog. Food I wouldn’t give to any dog. Food I wouldn’t give to a homeless person. Disgusting food.
I don’t like to waste anything, but that entire plate went in the trash. Quickly. One slide and it was gone. Needless to say, that dish was not my favorite dish. It was dead on arrival. Pizza, chili cheese fries, coffee, chocolate – anything fresh would have been better, especially since those are some of my favorite things.