It isn’t fun being lied to. Whether it’s by a friend, family member, or even a company giving you false promises, deception doesn’t feel good. Lies can cause hurt, anger, and a feeling of betrayal.
Nancy Demoss Wolgemuth has updated per previously published book into an expanded and updated version. The whole premise of her book is that women are being lied to consistently and continuously, and that there are a whole series of lies that Satan is telling ladies that can cause damage to their lives. These Lies Women Believe can ruin their lives, cause them to make bad decisions, and while some of these “lies” aren’t openly accepted by Christians, she says, they can be subtle distortions of truth, still making them lies. Demoss Wolgemuth is on a mission to tell women how they’re being lied to and let them know what the real truth is.
Sounds reasonable enough, doesn’t it?
This book is built on the belief that women are more susceptible to being lied to than men. The author clearly believes this just from the account of humanity’s fall in the Creation story. That is another theological issue entirely, so we can leave that alone.
The premise of the book is solely based on a series of lies, for example:
- I need to love myself more
- I have my rights
- God doesn’t love me
- I can’t control my emotions
- If I submit to my husband, I’ll be miserable
- I don’t have time to do everything I’m supposed to do
- We can’t afford (more) children
- I have to have a husband to be happy
- I can’t bear being depressed
There are more “lies”, but overall, there are a couple issues that run through the whole book. Other reviewers have criticized the fact that the author is doling out advice on motherhood and children, and I too have to scratch my head and wonder why people are so eager to eat it up when the author has never had children. But that’s really not what’s so bad about her motherhood and kids “lies”… I too have no kids, but just from my own skills of observation, of being out in the world, I feel I could have contributed better content to this and could have done better research and had more empathy for the struggles of the moms who feel like they can’t do it all, can’t manage it all, don’t have time for it all.
Another strangely odd area she gives advice on: marriage. This book is updated, and for most of her life she has been single. In this edition, she’s been married for about two and a half years. TOTAL. Again, I too am a single person, never married, but I really feel like there is a naivety in the way she speaks to people about marriage that makes it so confusing as to why married women would be taking advice from her. After being married for two and a half years, she’s still in the honeymoon phase of the relationship. If I ever get married, I hope to be able to say how I’m happily married, but if I don’t get married, I won’t pretend that I know what it’s like to work on what’s supposed to be a lifelong relationship.
And where marriage and mothering intersect is the area of time management, balance, caring for extended family, and this area made me see red… the pat answers she gives in this area are pathetic. The fact that she has no children is really no reason to not provide more information, more research, more stories from women who do. Answers like “just trust God” and “just do God’s assignment for your life” are inadequate for women who are tired, hurting, in an exhausting season of their lives. For ten years, I watched my Mom care for a sick family member, while working full time and caring for her own household, and you better believe that this book contributes no solutions to that type of struggle, except to say something like “just trust God”. In multiple chapters of Lies Women Believe, women are given pat answers to problems, no real solutions, no real empathy, and while I believe the author is writing from a place of love and kindness, this book lacks practicality and depth, so I really can’t recommend it at all.
FTC Disclosure: I received a copy of this book for free from the publisher in exchange for my honest review.