Tips for Christian Guys Getting Back Into the Dating Scene

Are you a single Christian guy needing advice about how to get back into the dating scene? Maybe you’ve never dated at all, and your lack of experience is making you nervous. Perhaps you’ve been busy with other goals – things like college and work may have been more important than your social life. Or maybe you’ve been through a break-up or a divorce, but now you’re ready to date again. Take these tips for single Christian guys…

Encouragement for Singles this Valentine’s Day

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How are you feeling today, Christian single? Maybe you’re doing pretty good most days with the Christian life. I don’t know about you, but sometimes I need a little encouragement as a Christian single. Just between you and me, I’ll take off my “strong Christian single” mask and get real with you. While I do believe there are some benefits of singleness, and I do enjoy these benefits, sometimes I also get discouraged. Sometimes I just need a big, huge dose of encouragement related to the relationship department. Do you know where I’m coming from, friend?

Here’s some encouragement I’ve dug up for myself that I hope can help you too.

Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4 “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens… a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance”

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In this well-known passage, the writer of Ecclesiastes tells us that there’s a time for everything. War and peace, death and life, mourning and dancing. We can even see this in nature – there’s dark and light, high tide and low tide, winter and summer. Some seasons are more pleasant than others, and it’s natural to want the hard seasons to be over, but that’s just not how things work.

What about your hard season of hurt? Maybe you’re asking questions after a tough break-up. That sucks, but it won’t last forever. Your hard season of feeling hurt because you got rejected? Those feelings won’t last forever. Your loneliness wondering where “The One” is? Everybody who has a heartbeat who has found the one they waited for can probably attest that the wait was worth it if they truly found their someone. Waiting is hard, but we can’t escape it. We can, however, try to keep it in perspective, and acknowledge that it’s ok to grieve when we want to.

Psalm 88:1-2 “Lord, you are the God who saves me; day and night I cry out to you. May my prayer come before you; turn your ear to my cry.”

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The Psalms are full of words of trouble and they’re relevant to us because sometimes we find ourselves in trouble too! What I love about the Psalms is that they show no matter how much we may wail, cry, moan, complain, agonize, question, or wonder, God is still present. We may not get the answer we want – or any answers at all – but God is still there. If you’re questioning things that have gone on in a relationship that ended or a relationship that hasn’t materialized, God may not give you the answers you want – or any answers at all – but He can be the listening ear for you that will never get tired of listening. This concept applies to not just relationship troubles but any troubles we face in life.

Proverbs 15:14 “The discerning heart seeks knowledge, but the mouth of a fool feeds on folly.”

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It’s important to know the truth about who you want to date. Is this person a good person? Is he or she a Christian? Let’s go back to something even more basic – is this person a single person? It’s unfortunate that such a basic question even has to be asked, but we have to be discerning and know that there are people who have no business dating at all that might make themselves available to you. Be wise and know this! Avoid trouble and be discerning!

Be discerning as you go about your quest to find the right relationship. Using the good judgement and wisdom that God is willing to give us can save us a lot of heartache. While feelings can place us on an emotional high, they can put us in a place of being attracted to people who are not good for us. Feelings are not bad but discernment can help us so much more. Discernment can help us separate truth from reality and discernment can help us place appropriate boundaries between people who may not have our best in mind. Some people are takers that will take endlessly with nothing but selfishness in mind. Use discernment to filter these people out of your dating pool.

Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own  understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

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Relationships can be messy, right? Maybe you’ve been through a break-up and analyzed it all. Maybe it wasn’t you but them that caused the trouble. Or maybe it wasn’t either of you but just a mismatch. No matter how much we may try to use good judgement and wisdom, there can still be unanswered questions that we have to leave in God’s hands. God is so gracious and full of love towards us, and He can use these messy situations to steer us away from people that would be the wrong match for us. God can use these disappointments to steer us onto a better path, even if we can’t see it at first.

Today, no matter what you may be feeling, keep in mind how much God loves you and that you are His treasured child!

About This Blog: Please feel free to share any information from this site, in part or in full, giving credit to the author and providing a link to this website. Fearless Faith is a blog dedicated to family, faith and frugality. All views are the author’s own and content is copyright of the author unless otherwise indicated.

3 Life Lessons from The Office’s Michael Scott

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Although it’s been off TV for several years, I’m a huge fan of The Office. There’s no season and no episode of the show I don’t like. If you’re not familiar with it, the main character of the show – played by Steve Carell – is office manager Michael Scott, a man living and working in the city of Scranton, an ordinary town much of America could relate to.

But Michael Scott is quite memorable for so many reasons. If you need a good laugh and you’ve never seen The Office, I highly recommend it. While Carell’s character makes a lot of bad judgment calls that would never, ever fly in a real office setting, it amounts to be great TV comedy. His over-the-top antics, pranks, and personality all combine to make for a situation that could be potentially unbearable at work or maybe laughable, depending on who you are and how your personality is.

But looking at his character, stripping away the silliness and immaturity, there are three big good takeaways to his character. Takeaways that can be applied to your personal life or your professional life. Things about his character that are likable and that we can appreciate – lessons if you will.

Care. Care about others. Care about something.

The Michael Scott character is always caring. Sometimes –  a lot of times – too much. The places in which he displays his care are sometimes misplaced or inappropriate, but at his core, he is a kind, caring person. In his personal life, you can see Michael getting taken advantage of in relationships where he tries to make things work and it’s dysfunctional, or where he gets too serious too soon, but he really has a lot of love to give to someone. In his business life, you can see him pouring so much effort into nourishing relationships with his employees – again, at times crossing lines, but in the end, you can see he wants everyone to feel valued. While not everyone wants to plan a dorky karaoke night (like “The Dundees”), Michael knows that people matter.

Work hard. Be good at what you do.

Michael slacks off a lot – he goofs off, he leaves work for personal errands, and he wastes a lot of time. But, he’s also doing such a good job that his superior – David Wallace – meets with him just for the sole purpose of asking the question “How are you doing such an amazing job?” Despite Michael Scott’s antics, his results speak for themselves – he’s in the spot of leading the number one branch. So, as you go into your new year, ask yourself – do you enjoy what you do? Whatever you’re working hard at, do you like it? Do you want to work at it? If not, why not? And if those aren’t good answers, do you at least see a path for change? There’s dignity in all work, so why not feel pride in doing a good job?

At the end of the day, it really doesn’t matter what you are doing. Maybe you’re a housewife, a student, a janitor, a pastor, or a business person. Do you feel a sense of pride in what you do so that you can say you are succeeding, for whatever success would look like in that spot?

Own who you are.

Michael Scott isn’t cool and he knows it. But that’s part of what makes his character so endearing and why I love the show so much. You can see some of the loneliness that he feels of being so unique, some of the sense of isolation that can come with being highly creative, highly unusual, unlike other people. But ultimately, Michael wins. He wins with being successful in his career, with his strong relationships at work, and ultimately, even if you wouldn’t guess it… in love. So own who you are.

About This Blog: Please feel free to share any information from this site, in part or in full, giving credit to the author and providing a link to this website. Fearless Faith is a blog dedicated to family, faith and frugality. All views are the author’s own and content is copyright of the author unless otherwise indicated.

3 Bible Verses Every Millennial Should Claim

Fox News recently reported about a re-vamp of a popular board game. A longtime favorite for fun (and teaching about personal finance), there was nothing wrong with Monopoly the way it was, but the folks at Hasbro Gaming decided some changes had to be made to the classic game of Monopoly. So, they created “Monopoly for Millennials”.

You’d think maybe this was to account for increases of costs of living and inflation, but not so. You can see for yourself the upset reactions on Twitter as reported by the Blaze. In a nutshell, the “updates” made to the game have been received by many as yet another insult to Millennials, who are quite often the target of public scorn. Regardless of how you feel about the Millennial generation in general, here are some Bible verses I believe Millennials should claim over their lives and keep close to their hearts.

1 Timothy 4 :12  (NKJV) “Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity.” 

I’m reading this verse on Bible Gateway right now, and just above the verse, it says “Take Heed to Your Ministry.” Do you know what that implies? That you can have a ministry, and you can take care of it. Even if the culture at large wants to stereotype you in a negative way. Even if the news wants to portray your generation in a bad light. You can have a positive impact for Christ. 1 Timothy 4:12 says don’t let anyone drag you down because you’re young. Be an example for the believers. Show others what it means to be an example for the Lord. No matter what you’re doing. Even when others want to disparage you or talk negatively about you.

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Proverbs 16: 9 (NKJV) “A man’s heart plans his way But the LORD directs his steps.”

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As a millennial, you may have planned out your course for your post-college or post-high school life, and things might not have turned out how you planned. A setback that you weren’t prepared for whether it’s high student loan debt, a low starting salary after college, or inability to find any type of job in the field you studied – those are setbacks that a lot of Millennials are dealing with.

Even though we can all plan what we want to do through life, God directs our steps and can help us through the worst of circumstances. This goes for our entire lives, no matter what age we are, whether it’s relationships, career, finances, anything. An amazing example of this is over at the Catholic Mom’s Life channel on YouTube. While marriage may be the furthest thing from your mind, you can see how the Catholic Mom saw God ordering her steps when she tells her story of how she found the perfect guy – or so she thought, since they were engaged – and all along, it turns out that he was NOT the man for her. The Lord ordered her steps, and she eventually became engaged and married to the man she is now happily married to today. So for you, whatever your problem is, turn to the Lord for wisdom, and He can order your steps, no matter what your situation.

Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV) “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him and he will make your paths straight.”

Maybe you’re new to walking with Jesus and you’ve got some choices in your past that you wish you could change. As a Millennial, the good news is that time is on your side – your path is wide open ahead! You’ve got time to start living for the Lord if you haven’t been already.

Or maybe you’ve known the Lord your whole life, but you’re questioning why He’s allowed bad things to happen to you in your life while people who seem to care nothing about the things of the Lord are prospering. It may appear that you’re not getting a fair shake at things while people who care nothing about God are having the time of their lives. As Christians, we are encouraged to trust God as we only have limited information on why things are the way they are. We are never asked to put our trust in men, politicians, or the world’s systems to make things right. We are only asked to trust in God to help guide us through our lives.

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About This Blog: Please feel free to share any information from this site, in part or in full, giving credit to the author and providing a link to this website. Fearless Faith is a blog dedicated to family, faith and frugality. All content is copyright of the author unless otherwise indicated.

Book Review: Kingdom Single

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Depending upon the denominational circles in which she finds herself, a Christian woman might be the exception if she isn’t married by 25, making it difficult to find peers who can relate to her life as a Christian single in a world where sex before marriage and cohabitation are the norm.

There are plenty of books that tell Christian singles what not to do (don’t fornicate, wait on the Lord for a Godly spouse) and lots of books tell Christian teens how to Biblically date or court. But many of these books are geared toward the younger crowd who aren’t yet in the “career” age yet.

It was with this reality that I was really excited about Tony Evans’ new book Kingdom Single.  One of the bullet points on the back cover says that God has a mission for you to join now, as a single. You don’t have to wait until you’re married to have a rewarding life. Even if you never get married, you can still live fulfilled and satisfied as a whole person, with a happy life. This is a very different approach from any other Christian book on singleness that I’ve read, so I was really excited about it.

But it wasn’t long into Kingdom Single that the book fell flat. While it has some positive ideas, the way they’re explained falls short. One in the beginning is that you shouldn’t just wait idly in your life wondering where your mate is, but you should be busy with your mission in life. This is a powerful idea that I agree with, but the example used to illustrate it is so bizarre that it wasn’t of much help. Tony uses the Biblical example of Adam and Eve’s creation in Genesis 2. We see very clearly that God looked at Adam and said that it wasn’t good for man to be alone and from that, God decided to make a helper suitable for him. (Genesis 2:18). This is also why Eve was created – because of Adam’s lack of a suitable helper. Tony says that Adam wasn’t looking around wondering where his woman was, and that when Eve was created, she wasn’t looking for her man. And that’s correct- but Adam was only on Earth for seven days (literal or metaphorical, we could debate), and Eve was created for the sole purpose of being a helper to her husband, before sin and corruption entered the world, so she didn’t have to endure a long process of having to wonder where her husband was, if he existed, how to find him, and so on. For the single Christians wondering where their suitable partners are, this example is not the best one to look at and say that Christian singles should just be busy about their business not wondering where their suitable partners are. If anything, Genesis 2 validates a Christian single’s desire to feel loved and supported by a marriage partner. Better examples for both sexes on how to live out a calling and what to search for in a partner could be found in Proverbs 31; this passage has incredible mileage for both sexes as it gives women something to aspire to and men something to pursue. (And a Proverbs 31 woman can make some assumptions that for the virtues she’s pursuing, her man can meet her standards of Godliness as well.)

Another part of Kingdom Single that made this such a difficult book to read – and why I didn’t finish it – was the lack of practical suggestions or examples from people living today. The examples were all from the Bible, and while I appreciate Biblical examples, living examples are good too. While the premise of Kingdom Single was promising, it didn’t read as a book written for single people on how to live out their singleness in a Godly way. It just seemed to be a book on how to life a Godly life with the word “single” or “kingdom single” slapped on in various places. The content didn’t match well to what the book was supposed to be about.

FTC Disclosure: I received a free copy of Kingdom Single from the publisher in exchange for my honest review.

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